Career Crossroads

My lovely boyfriend whisked me away yesterday (25/02/11) for a romantic stay at the Hilton Hotel, complete with a dip in the jacuzzi, and yummy evening meal and a fair few drinks. We had a great time, and as the conversation flowed we stumbled onto the topic of career choices, and spent a fair bit of the evening debating the pros and cons of obtaining a successful career.

I have always been extremely career-driven, and I have always believed that I was born to write. When I was younger and the teachers would set you the task of making a poster for homework, I'd always ask if I could design a newspaper or a magazine instead. While the other kids were happy colouring in, I wanted to write and to explore the English language as best I could at that young age.

That passion has stayed with me throughout my life, and now that I am nearing the end of my University education, and the world of work is beckoning, I've had to start contemplating where I want my life to go after Uni.

The most likely prospect for me at my current age and experience is to get a job at a regional newspaper, like the Birmingham Mail where I worked for a week earlier in the year - or perhaps to try and crack my way into the fashion/woman's magazine business. In many respects I'm happy to sit back and see where my life progresses on it's own; see what opportunities arise and how my career pans out. But I do have aspirations to travel with my job, and I'd love to report on world news and international current affairs one day.

I've always loved the idea of working in a real journalistic hub, such as London or New York, but this is where my problem arises. As I'm sure you have all gathered by now, I have built a pretty great life for myself right here in Birmingham. I live in a nice house with my family, who I'm close to - my Mam in particular. I have great friends who all live in and around Birmingham. My best friend Ray lives minutes from my house, and we always pop by to see each other or call each other up for a drink at short notice. And not forgetting my gorgeous boyfriend Sean, who lives half an hour away down the motorway. I have it good here, and I know I do.

I'm happy here. I'd struggle to leave my family, and it doesn't bare thinking about moving away from Ray. I love my Man and I see us having a great future together. I never went into this relationship thinking it would be the be all and end all of my life, but I also didn't come into it thinking it would just do for now. I'd started to make plans; considered moving out of home and possibly moving in with him. Not in great leaps or bounds, but it's what you do when you're settled with someone, you allow yourself to imagine the future you might have. But this is the debate you see.

My other half has already begun his career as a teacher. He has been to Uni, graduated with a good degree, completed his teacher training and landed himself a fantastic job at a really good school in Sutton. He hasn't been teaching long, but he's happy where he is and there's still so many options for him to rise up through the ranks and progress in his career. He has no reason to move, and I can't I blame him. He's worked hard to get where he is and he deserves the career he has now.

But I have itchy feet. Birmingham's great, and it's been my home for the last 21 years. But I have dreams to go places and see things. I want to land an excellent job, where I can work my way up to being a success and where I can feel like I'm getting total job satisfaction. My question is, am I going to get all that at a publication here in Brum? Will I be missing out on the lifestyle and the buzz and excitement of working in a core part of the industry if I stay where I am?

I know of people who cut everyone out of their lives and moved away to follow their dreams and be who they wanted to be, and there's an odd sense of admiration on my part about that. They are now hugely successful in their chosen field, but they are also lonely. They gave it all up, their friends, family, boyfriend and just did what made them happy - nothing to hold them back and nothing to stand in their way.

I haven't got it in me to just walk away, not when I've spent so long building a good life for myself right here - but that's the problem. If you don't break away to live your own life and follow your own dreams, will you look back and regret not being that little bit braver? That little bit more selfish, perhaps?

If I could just pick up the life I have here and move it away with me then I'd do it tomorrow, without a doubt. The best of both worlds; everyone I love, in the place I love, letting me do the thing I want most. But then the truth of the matter would be that everyone I love would have had to have sacrificed their lives to suit mine, and that just isn't right.

I think that's what I've come to realise, that a lot of the time your career and your personal life collide and you can't just have your cake and eat it. It all seems to be about sacrifice and compromise - but the question is what to sacrifice and compromise, my career or my personal life. It obviously isn't like this for everyone, as my Fella's happy as Larry where he is. Great job, near to home, which allows him to lead his life the way he wants. If only it was going to be that simple for me.

So I'm facing a choice in the near future, and as of yet I'm undecided on my path in life. Obviously, being fresh out of Uni, I'll take whatever jobs come my way and I won't set the bar too high to begin with, or limit myself to a particular area of the industry, until I can be more secure in my abilities. My worry is, that if one day the call comes in to say that I've been offered a dream job miles from home, I'll be left to face a seriously hard decision. Where do I choose to settle down, home or away?

In loving memory

One year ago today marks the sad passing of a great man, who touched so many people with his enthusiastic approach to life and his fun loving nature. Mitchell Courtney Calveley only lived a short 19 years on this Earth, but he made every second of it count, and left this life with so many people who loved and adored him.

As most who know me will know, I'm never usually lost for words, but for some reason today I'm finding it hard to express just how I feel about losing such a great person from my life. So, as I'm wanting to say something so beautiful and sincere about Mitch and his influence in my life, I think it best to revert to what I wrote about him when he first passed away. I hope all who read this can appreciate the sentiment, as I know he is sorely missed by both his family and friends.

"I never loved anyone like I loved Mitchell; probably because there was never anyone like Mitchell on this Earth. He was totally unique. He was always just himself, and he always did what made him happy. He lived life to the full. He worked hard and he played hard, and that's why people loved him. Because he was just Mitchell, and that was enough to brighten anyone's day.

He made me feel things I didn't really understand. I could never understand how he could make me laugh out loud and annoy the hell out of me in the same moment, but I guess that's what was really great about him, because I could never stay mad at him for long. One flash of that beautiful smile of his and I'd melt like butter. I'm sure many people he knew would agree with me on that one.

Mitch showed me what it was like to fall head over heels in love with someone, and with him I was falling a little bit more every day. I know that I will treasure every minute I ever spent with him.

One of his close friends once said to me that there were never any bad times with Mitchell, only good times to remember - and I think that is something that proves what a wonderful person he really was.

If Mitchell's passing has showed me anything, it is how truly amazing he really was. He touched so many people in this life, and there was rarely a bad word said about him. He just seemed to make everyone's lives that little bit better just for knowing him.

He was a great friend, a loving boyfriend, a supportive brother and a son to be proud of. He will be sorely missed by more people than he could have ever known. He will never be forgotten, and he will always be loved by those he made so happy in this lifetime.

Forever in our hearts Mitch xx"

February's Fabulous Fashion Wishlist

This month it's all about riviera-prints, preppy chic and vintage quirks.

Riviera-prints - Think 50s kitsch, with full skirts and Hermes scarves.

I am a little bit in love with this Primarni beach scene prom dress, and the fashion mags have been going crazy for it too. At only £17, you can afford to get the cute socks and nude heels to go with it!

What is there not to love about these wide leg polka dot trousers (£45, Topshop)? Palazzo pants are going to be huge this summer and there are already great little numbers on Asos, in Topshop and even at George at Asda - so whatever your budget there is no excuse for not owning a pair of these soon. They are the utmost in glamour, and barely need styling at all, but will look lovely with a plain top and some retro-inspired wedges.


Preppy chic - Clean lines and sophisticated cuts. Think little girl ditsy-prints, but all grown up.

New look is crawling with beautiful, preppy pastel blouses at the minute. The new range has just hit the shops this week, and this Ballerina-inspired chiffon tie neck blouse (£21.99) is one of my favourites. Wear with jeans for a casual day look, or tuck into a pair of glammed up harems with big heels for a sophisticated but sexy evening outfit.

Ditsy prints are massive this spring, and Primark have come to the rescue with a whole range of cute and quirky dresses, tops, shorts and skirts to help you get kitted out in dainty butterfly and tiny horse prints in time for the summer months. These monochrome heart design shorts are gorgeous, and the floaty material adds to the preppy chic look. I have a similar pair, navy blue with tiny pink butterflies on. Divine. And all for as little as £7. Oh, how I do love Primarni originals.


Vintage quirks- Frills and florals by the bucket load.

This dress is epic in my opinion (£40, Asos). Gorgeous colour, gorgeous style, gorgeous material. It looks so vintage without the hefty price tag, and needs little more than a big gold ring and a pair of slinky black heels for a perfect night-on-the-town outfit. Asos do vintage chic so well, and you can find the perfect accessories to make this little number complete online.

For me, no vintage look would be complete this summer without a pair of vintage style loafers. Whether it be heeled or flat, tan or grey, I have been eying up every pair on the high-street. These tan tassel loafers from River Island (£29.99) are to-die-for, but Primark also do an £12 grey replica so keep your wits about you and get loafer hunting.




Best buy: This H&M pale cream creation (£29.99) screams spring with it's light and floaty feel. I have bought a similar Primarni number, with gold button detailing, for a very reasonable £15. These cream, floaty dresses are every where at the moment and are going to be a staple piece in your wardrobe for the spring to summer convergence. Make like me and where with pink grey brogues and a denim gillet.

Bargain buy: I know most bargain buys are supposed to be £10 or less, but this Forever 21 Peacock print chiffon dress was just too good for words! The colours and the detailing are beautiful and it could be worn day or night. The twisted straps and downward paneling on the dress make it look far more expensive than it's tiny £21.80 price tag. I'm going to snap this up soon, I can see.

OCD Fashion

I've come to realise that not only is fashion a massive part of my life, it's also a massive topic of discussion around the world. Having browsed the bloggersphere and seen the style and genre of most of the content out there, it is clear to see that most modern day twenty-somethings, such as myself, place a great deal of interest and commitment into discussing and sharing their thoughts and views on the ever-changing face of fashion.

Although I have never resigned myself to only writing about one topic here on Twenty-one and Invincible - and I will continue to write about my life in general and as a whole for the rest of my time as a blogger - I will readily admit that fashion does play a massive part in my day-to-day life. I must end up buying a couple of new items of clothing at least once a month; never pricey things unless it's a special occasion, but I do love nothing more than to shop and buy things which I feel good wearing. I take shopping trips to London with my Mam and sister every year, I nearly always ask for clothes for Christmas and birthdays and I never miss the January sales. Ever.

When I have a great outfit on, or a new pair of shoes, I can't help but feel a little bit special. Even if nobody notices it's new, or bothers to comment on what I'm wearing, I find that personally it gives me a buzz and helps me feel good in myself, helps me feel confident. Being brutally honest, and please don't think ill of me for this, but I actually have a clothes list in my room which I refer to on a daily basis to help me decide what to wear.

I know that's a totally OCD thing to admit to having or doing, but I have so many clothes and I want to wear them all at some point within the month. I like to know that I have a selection of daywear, nightwear and work wear on hand so that I never have to panic when getting ready, and have that "I've got a room full of clothes and nothing to wear" crisis that so many of my friends and family have on a regular occurrance.

My best friend Ray is the queen of hoarding, and has far too many clothes and very few complete outfits, meaning that she's usually struggling to find something to wear nearly every time we go out. I don't want that stress, and so I make it so I always have something to wear. I make sure I have tops to go with my jeans or my skirts, and shoes to go with my dresses. I don't feel right if an outfit's missing something, it ruins the whole look for me. And when I get bored of wearing an outfit, I take it off the list and use it as an excuse to buy something new to replace it!

I have 20 day outfits which can take me from Uni, to work, to the shops and more, and 13 evening outfits which range from a night at the pub or a dinner date, to party frocks and clubbing outfits. That's only 33 outfits in total, and I do believe that is what the guru Gok Wan calls a capsule wardrobe.

So after comprehending what a huge part in my life fashion plays, I've decided to complete a monthly Fashion Wishlist here on Twenty-one and Invincible, detailing my top buys for the month, and explaining how best to work them. Any fellow fashionistas please feel free to comment and inspire me...

Saturday TV killed the entertainment star

Though many may deny it, most of us are guilty of becoming addicted to the vast number of reality TV and talent shows that have infiltrated modern viewing. Sitting glued to the box week after week, judging, criticising and gossiping about the contestants and their antics. We enjoy watching B-List celebrities squirm on “I’m A Celebrity” whilst they endure stomach churning Bush tucker trials in order to climb their way back up the popularity ladder – just as much as we enjoy watching fame-hungry nobodies sit around talking nonsense on Big Brother, being mildly amused by the thoughts and actions of a group of supposedly “normal” people doing “normal” things 24 hours a day.

One of our greatest guilty pleasures as a nation, however, is not to indulge in the plight of has-been celebs in the jungle or the antics of “average Joes” on Big Brother, but to spend weekend after weekend glued to a singing competition of gigantic proportions. That’s right, the nation seems to be addicted to Simon Cowell’s greatest (financial) triumph “The X Factor”. Ratings research board BARB recently announced (22/12/10) that the X Factor final – which aired on Saturday 11^th December and saw 27-year-old painter and decorator Matt Cardle scoop the first place spot – pulled in a massive 17.7 million viewers, and has therefore been crowned the most watched television show of 2010.

X Factor can be seen as being a great success not only for it’s ratings, but also for what it can do for the contestants who make it through to the live shows, and especially for those who go on to win the series. X Factor has previously given us Shayne Ward, JLS, Olly Murs, Diana Vickers, Joe McElderry, Alexandra Burke and (unfortunately, some may argue) Jedward, who have all had vast success during the first few years following their stint on the show – not forgetting, of course, the shows most successful contestant to date Leona Lewis (of Series Three), who’s debut album “Spirit” topped the charts in 11 countries and has sold over 6 million copies worldwide.

It could easily be argued that without appearing on X Factor, none of these chart-toppers would have been able to crack their way into the music business, and many would still be singing in pubs and clubs around the country. Talent shows such as X Factor can make worldwide popstars out of ordinary musicians and singers, taking them out of the local social clubs and helping them shoot to fame as the next big thing. X Factor’s motto, or so it would seem, is to seek out the talented members of the public and give them a chance to fulfill their musical dreams.

It would appear to some, then, that the X Factor strives to promote the UK’s entertainment industry, by showcasing the hidden talents of our great nation - but how true is this in reality? The show this year aired on both Saturday and Sunday evenings, from 7.30pm until 10.30 pm – the time that most pub and club entertainers are out performing at venues across the country. If the vast majority of the public are staying in to watch the latest X Factor performances, then who is out watching and supporting the rest of the country’s musicians and singers as they perform?

In the wake of the recession our country faced at the start of 2010, many types of businesses and professions were hit hard, and the UK entertainment and leisure industry was certainly one area to feel the severity of the blow. With the pubic as a whole tightening their belts, a night down the local pub or social club seemed to fall at the bottom of the list for many people – and if the clubs and pubs are losing business, then they simply cannot afford to pay out for performers and entertainers, so both the businesses and the professionals are suffering, not only from a lack of funding, but also – it would seem – from a lack of interest.

The social club scene used to be the place to be of a weekend for many of the generations before us, but the young crowd these days would much rather be on the dancefloor in one of the numerous nightclubs across the country, than down their local social club watching an act perform. So with today’s reality television stealing the spotlight of a weekend, a reported 40 social clubs a week closing down due to a lack of funding (BCC report, March 2010) and the changes in the social nature of the newest generations, the future is looking bleak for all those involved in the UK’s local entrainment industry.

Profile – Peter Jones of Series 1 duo “2 To Go”

30-year-old, Peter Jones – a pub and social club entertainer – appeared in the first ever series of the X Factor back in 2004, as part of duo “2 To Go”. Peter and singing partner Emma Paine made it through to the live shows, as part of Louie Walsh’s category, but were voted off in the third week by their own mentor. Here, Peter talks about his time on the show, how he feels it helped his career and what he thinks should be done about the current lack of support for pubs and social clubs across the UK.

What made you want to audition for X Factor?

The main reason for auditioning was that the X Factor was the first talent show that accepted groups. Previous shows (fame academy, pop idle etc) were only interested in solo acts. Also we thought (maybe naively) that as it was a brand new show it would be a new and refreshing approach to talent contests.

How did you find your time on the show?

It was certainly a great experience. Walking on to the stage with a live audience in the finals is a hard experience to beat. You certainly get a taste of the glitz and glamour. On the other hand you also realise it is not all like that. There's a lot of waiting around, and a lot of staged reactions. For instance, we all new full well that Louis would be our mentor but we had to act like it was the surprise of the century. There was a lot of that sort of thing. But it was a great feeling to get through the auditions especially considering the numbers involved. We were proud to get as far as we did, and the live tour which followed was one of the biggest highlights of our career!

After leaving the show, did you find that people recognised you more?

Yes, we had a lot of people stopping us in the streets. There was a lot of recognition. We still have that today, especially when we're seen together - of course not as much now as it was then.

Did you go back into singing in pubs and clubs?

We never left the clubs completely, it wasn’t right to walk away from our careers to take the chance that we might make it big. In the end, we didn’t get a big break, but when we went back to performing full time we did a lot of great venues, including the Nottingham concert hall, Lincoln castle and Epsom race course. We also started to play casinos and we had lots of corporate events.

Do you feel appearing on the show helped or possibly hindered your career?

There is no doubt the X Factor helped our career if only in a small way. During the two years after the show our standard of gigs was definitely higher than before. As the years went on we found we started to do more clubs again. Inevitably, as new X Factors came and went, our series was put to the back of people's minds, but we are still remembered and the X Factor reference is still a selling point for us.

I wouldn't say it has hindered us but there is no doubt that other finalists have come off the worst for their experience. I believe we were in the bracket of doing well enough to achieve a slightly higher status, but we were never at risk of being dropped or ridiculed by the X Factor as we were never picked up by the record company and we didn't quite get far enough to merit that kind of attention.

Have you noticed the recent decline in the public's interest in going to their social club to watch an act perform? Why do you think this is?

The decline in audiences at clubs is becoming a worrying problem. Contributing factors to this issue are undoubtedly the increasing prices of drinks coupled with the smoking ban. Certainly it is a lot cheaper and easier to stay at home with friends or family and have a few drinks whilst watching Saturday night telly. I don't know whether people are deliberately choosing to not go and see the acts, as I am informed by the club secretaries that the clubs have become less busy in general and not just at the weekends. Also I believe that a lot of clubs will close because they have an outdated principal. It is sad to say, but some clubs are only attended by an elderly audience, and to put it bluntly, when they are gone that will be it. Unfortunately I think the working men’s club ethic has become an old fashioned one and I’m not sure how this can be changed.

I don't know how much the standard of acts reflects in the turn out of audiences, but I will say that there are now a lot of cheap and cheerful acts who are now getting a lot of work as the clubs cut their budgets. I have seen some of these acts and think I would say that there has definitely been a drop in standards.

I say this not only from my own experiences but also from what people tell me in the clubs I perform at. I don't know if this is a contributing factor or not. Having said all that there are still lots of great (and busy) clubs out there, so there is still a club spirit. I am still lucky enough to make a living from the clubs and I am still having great nights working in clubs across the country, so there’s still hope for performers yet!